Someday

Your soul cries. This is the moment when what hurts you; it’s invisible to others, where you appear as looking happy but when really and truly the world seems to be collapsing around you and where the pain is deaf and blind.

When your soul cries no one knows, no one sees, no one believes. No one listens. Looks like not even you know exactly what’s worrying you or what you are afraid of. Everything that has been gathered inside overwhelms you. But you continue to smile, to finish your daily work, and hide the fears and stifle the thoughts that have created a chaos inside you. You don’t know if it became a habit to carry your spiritual burden.

You feel vulnerable, helpless. You sigh like the air around you has suddenly attenuated and you fight for nothing just to find a solution. You think of all the people that have been around and contributed to your horrible mood you are in and ask yourself the same question over and over again. WHY ME?! You want to speak to someone about the poison that has captured your soul; but who? Your smile is bitter. Because you know that this time you are on your own. It’s your fight. Between you and yourself. You are the victim and the culprit. You are both the winner and the loser of the game.
You know that at some point it will end. You know that the air will again become breathable and that behind those smiles there will be no deaf or blind pain. You know that it will be you again, that person who is always in a good mood, who is always joking and the suffocating “sigh” will only be a memory. Someday. You know that all these things will happen. Someday.

You know. I know.